Não ria, se conseguir...

Chega de música.

Ao deparar-se com esse título, é possivel se pensar qual sentido ela teria em diversas situações. Há de se pensar que o mundo inteiro seria um caos sem música. Mas a temática da ausência de música nesse diário virtual dá-se ao abandono do exagero de muicas que popularam este espaço até então.

Utilizava das letras delas o que eu sentia e o que eu queria passar para quem pudessem lê-las, isso porque até um tempo atrás eu não conseguia dizer com palavras próprias sentimentos errôneos que me rondaram ultimamente. Eu me sentia sozinho, traído e menosprezado, de tal forma que doía pensar em tentar descrever por mim mesmo. Então, utilizava palavras alheias para isso tudo e me acostumei tanto com isso que passei a sentir medo de minha própria expressão.

Precisei passar por mais uma  série de aborrecimentos e decepções para dar um basta nesse buraco caótico na qual eu mesmo me enfiei e cheguei a pensar que não teria escapatória.

Pensava eu que fazer o bem e agir polidamente de forma incondicional, traria uma vida segura e realizada, pois me enganei profundamente. Há de se fazer o bem e tratar a vida alheia como sempre o fiz mas não a ponto de me anular perante diversos cenários aos quais passei. E não mais me queixar por uma vida que não deu certo, sendo que ainda estou vivo. Aprendi que devo me lamentar apenas pelas coisas que não fiz e que se tivesse a chance faria apenas para tirar esse sentimento de mim. Vejam só, eis um texto escrito por mim, e se o contexto está deveras confuso, realmente não me importa, são minhas palavras e expressões e estou satisfeito com elas.

It started out as a feeling,
which then grew into a hope,
which then turned into a quiet thought,
which then turned into a quiet word,
and then that word grew louder and louder
'til it was a battle cry:
I'll come back when you call me,
no need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
as you head off to the war.
Pick a star on the dark horizon
and follow the light.

You'll come back when it's over,
no need to say goodbye (x2)

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet,
but just because they can't feel it too
doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'til they're before your eyes

You'll come back when they call you,
no need to say goodbye (x2)

Why?

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up then tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
And What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me...
Well, I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you!!

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

I, I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and sure
And so on
But now I think I was wrong
And you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on my side

Is it any wonder that I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes
It's hard to know where I stand
It's hard to know where I am
Or maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand
Sometimes
I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric
In children's rhyme, a soundbite

Is it any wonder that I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
Oh these days?
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

Nothing left inside this old cathedral
Just the sad lonely spires
How do you make it right?
Oh but you tried

Is it any wonder that I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

(Keane)

Coisas que nunca fiz na vida...

1 -  Participei de um chat com a maioria de pessoas desconhecidas e jogamos Verdade ou Desafio.
2 - Falei 'AE' em Capslock pela primeira vez, deu até print. (Segundo meu sobrinho Vamp, foi a primeira demonstração de possivel alegria que fiz..)
3 - Fiz um blog para falar de mim mesmo..
4 - Tomei um porre com meu sobrinho..